The One Where I Out Myself As a Would-Be Author

"So, I think I'm going to write a book."

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Oooh...fiction? That great American novel you've been working on since college? The wonderful, strong protagonist, pitted against that wily antagonist. Great plot and character development. Climax. Denouement. Inky gold, right?

Wrong. Who do I look like, Louisa May Alcott?

I'm writing the other kind. The kind that will probably never get published (assuming I even finish it) and will rot on some publisher's desk until she stops using it as a coaster.

Ok, so I'm not really that negative. Otherwise, why bother?

I'm writing a book about me. And my crazy kids. And my crazy life with my kids. They say write what you know, and that's what I know best.

I've been told I'm the "Erma Bombeck of my generation." I translate that as "Your family is completely ridiculous, and you don't mind telling everyone about it." Let's just hope I don't totally embarrass myself...

Too Fat to Hula Hoop

Addison told me this weekend that I'm "too fat to hula hoop." No matter your actual dress size, a comment like this will make you stop and think for a moment. Before you burst out laughing. Hopefully. Because the other option is curling into a ball and rocking back and forth while eating a York Peppermint Patty (or 10). At least that's what I hear. Because I totally did the laughing thing.

She also told me that she believes I'm older than Batman. "You mean, like, Adam West? Or the character Batman?" Blank stare from the 3yo. "Wait. Either way this is not good." FYI, Batman was created in 1939. Making him 72 (and, for the record, Adam West will be 82 this year). Of course, I looked it up. Wouldn't you?

In completely unrelated news, I ran 8.5 miles on the treadmill already this week and made an appointment to get my hair colored.

Update

Ok, so I've been REALLY bad about updating lately. I saw the last pic of the girls and thought..."They don't even look like that anymore." So, here is an updated picture (or two...or more). And I promise to be better about keeping this updated.